Leave it to Bieber
by soundsofthecity
Summary: Trufax about daily events in ninja academy class. Spoilers up to episode 1 and others.


Sakura was in class, doodling inside her Justin Bieber spiral notebook. She liked to doodle things such as her name and then she'd combine it with Sasuke's name and then show it to Ino. Then they would burst into a fit of giggles. There were lots of other kids in class, but they weren't important enough to be named.

Sasuke sat on the other side of the room. He did so for a reason. So that he wouldn't have to be anywhere near the girls. However, he also was doodling in his Justin Bieber notebook. He would combine his name with Naruto's last name, except then he'd scribble it out and draw a stick figure with whiskers on it and then draw what looked to be flying knives aimed toward his head.

Naruto was sitting beside Sasuke at their two person desk, but he was too busy doodling in his Miley Cyrus notebook to notice what Sasuke was doing. He wasn't terribly great at drawing, so when he tried to draw Sakura and some hearts, it looked more like an infestation of squiggly turds, which was very unfortunate.

Eventually, Sasuke, upon noticing that Naruto had been surprisingly quiet for the last five minutes, glanced over to see what he was doing. He saw Naruto's doodles and immediately had to inform him of his vastly inferior talents compared to Sasuke.

"You suck at drawing," Sasuke informed him.

Naruto continued to draw hearts all over the page. "Your mom sucks at drawing."

Sasuke took great offense to this because his mother most definitely did _not _suck at drawing. "My mother does not suck at drawing, Naruto! You take that back."

"No."

Sasuke glared and threw his pencil, which hit Naruto in the face.

"Ow, you asshole!" Naruto shot up from his chair and pulled Sasuke up by the collar of his shirt. "What do you think you're doin'? You could've poked my eye!"

Sasuke smirked. "That's why God gave you two."

"Huh?" Naruto dropped Sasuke back into his chair. "You're fuckin' weird, Uchiha."

Sasuke's body felt hot from the rough treatment. Hot in a good way that is. "Try that again, Naruto, and I'm going to hurt you."

"Oh yeah?" said Naruto, flailing his arms and jumping onto the desk (Sasuke noticed that he did so with all the grace of a lean golden panther). "What is your deal?"

"My deal is that you..." Sasuke didn't know exactly what he wanted to say because his brain kept finishing the sentence with: are sexy; look like you'd be a great kisser; would probably squeal like a girl if dryhumped.

Naruto stared at him when he failed to finish. "You're such a freak! I don't know what the girls see in you!" He jumped off the desk and went to sit on the edge of Shikamaru's and Chouji's desk. They were playing Pokemon diamond on their DS(es).

"Did you see what Sasuke tried to do?" Naruto told them, but they weren't paying attention. "He's such a spaz. He's always pickin' on me and stuff 'cause he thinks he's so much better than the rest of us at being a ninja."

"That's because he is better than the rest of us at being a ninja," said Shikamaru.

"You always take his side!" Naruto cried dramatically.

As he was pouting, Sakura came over and - at first Naruto held out the hope she was coming to speak to him - but she glared as she passed by and then she was all smiley as she stood beside Sasuke.

"Hey Sasuke-kun, I wrote you this letter. Um," she twirled her hair. "Do you think maybe you can read it?"

"Right now?" asked Sasuke.

Naruto couldn't help but be curious as to what was in the note. He knew Sakura liked Sasuke a lot, so was she finally confessing? It was selfish in a way, but he hoped Sasuke turned her down because...

Sasuke opened the letter, read it, and crumpled it in his hand. He tossed it behind him, where it landed beside Naruto's fingers.

"SASUKE!" Naruto yelled. "How could you do that to Sakura-chaaaaaan?"

"It's none of your business, usuratonkachi."

"It is my business, because Sakura-chaaaan is my friend!"

"Uh, no I'm not," said Sakura. "No. It's okay, S-Sasuke-kun. Maybe just think about it for a while before answering, ne?"

It was like a rain cloud suddenly appeared over her head. Sakura returned to her seat as if someone had just beaten a baby seal cub in front of her. Ino was there to comfort her though, rubbing her back while looking quietly gleeful about still having a chance with Sasuke.

Naruto was semi-furious slash relieved but also ashamed of feeling relieved so it came out as repressed anger which he directed toward Sasuke.

"You know, Sasuke, just because your parents are dead doesn't give you the right to be an asshole. I don't have parents either, and I don't act like a butthole."

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke said, getting in his face. "Wasn't it you who peed on that kid in the hole? Wasn't it you who spraypainted Mt. Hokage, including defacing your own father's... face."

"That is a spoiler, Sasuke Uchiha, and you should apologize to the people who did not realize the Fourth was my father even though we've all known that since forever and stuff."

"Oh yeah, spoilers, eh? Well, did you know in the future that I'm going to run my fist through your chest?"

"I did not know that. That sounds like it may hurt a little."

"It will hurt," said Sasuke. "It will hurt physically and emotionally, so much so that it traumatizes you and you will chase me for years to come, sacrificing any chance of stability and happiness just to win my approval."

"That's retarded." Naruto started picking his nose. "Why would I care about your approval? I'd be just fine if you decided to leave the village."

"Well then I guess there's only one way to make you miserable for the rest of your life!" Sasuke shouted angrily.

"Oh yeah?" Naruto flung his booger across the room. It landed on Kiba's shoulder. "What are you gonna do?"

Sasuke glared and pointed his finger in an intimidating manner. "I'm gonna stay in the village foreeeeeeeever!"

Then Sasuke ran out of the classroom crying. All the girls started yelling and throwing things at Naruto for making Sasuke cry. He turned to Shikamaru and Chouji for help, but they were in the middle of a battle, so they wouldn't help him, and Iruka made him go and apologize, but instead of doing that he slipped out of an open window and went to Ichiraku to have some ramen and then that one store to look at porno mags as he was the most heterosexual character in the manga besides Jiraiya.


End file.
